Author: Lydia Otuyoma

Most children today suffer from mental illnesses, poor performance in school, and depression coming from broken homes.

About 44 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce. It is becoming more alarming as time goes on. 

At the end of the day, the kids suffer the most from divorce, although the lawyers may do their best to make sure everything is okay.

What is divorce?

Divorce is defined as the legal dissolution of a marital union or marriage under the law. This is different from other lawsuits about marriage like "legal separation" and "annulment". Divorce is often interchanged with these two terms. 

Legal separation is a court ruling that states that you and your spouse are no longer compatible to live together. There is the separation of properties, responsibility to children, and debts. The grounds of legal separation and divorce are similar. The major difference between legal separation and divorce is that in a legal separation, the marriage is still intact. If the individual feels he or she can no longer reconcile with his or her spouse, they or can go further and file for a divorce.

Annulment is the declaration that a marriage is null and void. In this, the court declares that the marriage is not valid by law. Annulment is not as common as divorce. This is because to file for an annulment, one must have rigid proof of how and why the marriage is not valid by law. Some grounds for annulment are: If one of the spouses has been legally married before, one or both spouses were deceived into marriage, one spouse kept a major secret like an illegitimate child, health disorder, and so on. 

3 Major Reasons for Divorce

• Lack of communication: Most marriages in the world today are destroyed by lack of communication. . Communication is key in relationships as it builds a strong foundation. It is through communication that you recognize each other's plans for each other and your kids. Lack of communication makes couples distant. Comfortable conversations build intimacy and confidence, unfortunately, most couples lack this. Hence, they are full of bitterness and bottled-up anger toward each other.

• Lack of commitment: Most individuals want a loyal and dedicated partner. Unfortunately, most married people forget the place of commitment to their partner. Failure to fulfill promises and give adequate support to your partner is a major cause of divorce in our world today.

• Infidelity and extramarital affairs: This is another major cause of divorce. Extramarital affairs either physical or sexual can have long-lasting scars on marriages. It's a sign of betrayal and brings distrust in the relationship. Most times if the individual wronged is not patient and forgiving enough, they may file for a divorce.

Effects of divorce on children

Most times there is confusion as to who the children will follow when a divorce is issued. The court decides the arrangement between the child and the parents. A divorce can have both negative and positive effects on children. The negative overrides the positive.

Positive effects 

• A better and more conducive environment. Usually, when parents are at odds with each other, children are more affected. This is because of the tension in the home. A divorce can create a better environment for the kids.

• Better relationship with parents. Kids can develop closer, better, and stronger relationships with each parent.

Negative effects

• Depression: A prolonged feeling of sadness can occur. If this is observed for more than two weeks, a physician should be contacted to help put the child in a better state of mind. This may be through counseling or drugs if necessary.

• Lack of interest in relationships.

• Anger and resentment. Any child who has gone through the divorce process of parents is most likely to have anger issues. Unnecessary hatred toward the world or people because their parents were unable to work things out.

• Development of addictions. Dependence on drugs or bad habits can be developed as a way of forgetting one's pain. This is destructive to the state of the child.

• The ward may develop attitude issues. The child is likely to become a snub. Most times a loner, that is someone who is always by himself or herself. The ward may also have a dislike for the opposite sex.

• Poor academic performance. Overthinking or depression may lead to a downslide in your child's academic performance.

What happens now?

Well, as painful as separation from one's spouse may be, moving forward is essential. If Indeed you can't live with your spouse anymore and the difference is beyond reconciliation. Although this is painful for the individuals involved, it has to be done.

Forgive yourselves, and create a better environment for you and your kids if any.